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Burton Speaks

Irony: i·ro·ny n The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.

I'm Burton from Portland, Oregon, United States. I'm 33 and live in the Portland Metro Area. I work hard. I drive fast. I play often. I'm sarcastic, appreciate irony, and find humor in even the darkest of events. I'm non-traditional. I question authority. I'm a know-it-all and a planner. And most days, I wake up thinking the world is full of fundamentally good people... and have a lot of problems when I'm proven wrong. Any other questions?

Vancouver, WA: Watch out for the assholes

Monday, June 12, 2006

I'd like to issue a whole-hearted "Thank you!" to the Vancouver, WA assholes who decided to egg my car this weekend. I'm sure the fact that I work really hard to pay for it, I'm trying to sell it (for a good cause), and you're intentionally (and permanently) damaging someone else's property is of no concern to you; you probably just enjoyed "letting loose." Well, thank you for taking out your thrills on my automobile! I truly appreciate washing my car for a second time in 12 hours, admiring the impact mark you made in the paint, and picking egg shell bits off that had almost baked on to the car. You made my day.