Burton Speaks

Upon hearing the news that "Evil Dead: The Musical" was going to be playing in Portland, I was immediately struck by two thoughts. First: "How did I not know that they made a musical based on Evil Dead?", and then: "How did I not hear that it was going to be in Portland EARLIER?!?" Of course, I immediately bought tickets.


The plot was a mashup of The Evil Dead and Evil Dead II, with a bunch of lines and the ending of the theatrical version of Army of Darkness grafted onto it. Oh, and a bunch of musical numbers sprinkled throughout with titles like "What The #@%^! Was That?" and "All The Men In My Life Keep Getting Killed By Candarian Demons". The songs were humorous, often accompanied by sexually suggestive dancing. Quite fun, in concept.

There was, however, a downside to the show, and that was in the production quality. While recognizing that I'm going to see a musical based off the "Evil Dead" series, which is (in)famous for its production quality, I guess I was expecting a campy show that was done well. What I got was something else.

Without sounding like I'm complaining, I like it when shows start reasonably on-time, versus 20 minutes or so late. I like it when I can hear all the performers singing. I like it when the performers remember to turn on their microphones versusu coming in after an unneeded and unpleasant intermission with it off. I like it when the set transistions are reasonably quick, instead of detracting from any sort of pacing and taking an inconsistent number of trips off-stage by the technical crew.

Those are my technical complaints. Also, there was an intermission halfway through that seemed quite unnecessary and didn't need to be 25 minutes long. A long intermission gave the audience more time to hit the bar and get liquored up, leading to more talking and drama by the audience that detracted from the show. The acting and singing wasn't done with any particular enthusiasm or sense of timing.

Of course, I don't want to overlook the good parts of the show. I was smart enough to get tickets in the "non-splatter" seating section (when was the last time THAT was a choice at a musical?) but it was tons of fun watching the crew spray fake blood at the splatter zone during particularly gory scenes. The creativity of the songs was also quite good and, in the production, the actresses portraying Cheryl and Annie stood out among the rest.

In the end, did I enjoy it? Yes, I think anyone my age who enjoyed the movies would. But given the unpleasant crowd, the poor technical production quality, and the long time I had to spend listening to music other than that coming from the musical I was there to see, I can definitely say that it wasn't worth the high price of admission.

So now you know.

This weekend I went snowshoeing with my adventure buddy and a friend of his up on Mt. Hood to Elk Meadows. Well, the plan was to go snowshoeing; it ended up being a lot of hiking while carrying the snowshoes because there just isn't that much snow out there! With a base of between 37" and 43", there's a lot of bare ground, especially when climbing up the hills. Having so little snow at this point in the season makes me worry.

Still, we had fun. It would have been more fun had, when trying to jump across a stream, I actually made it across. In this case, with my snowshoes tied to my pack (which weighed 30-40 lbs!) I tried to follow in the footsteps of my companions and, despite every fiber of my being telling me what a bad idea it was, I jumped after them. Thank goodness they were there to catch me; my food landed and immediately slipped out from underneath me. After slamming my face into the icy snow, they grabbed my arms before I could land in the water and hoisted me up. That part, I'll admit, wasn't so fun. My face hurt from the fresh scratches and it spoiled my attitude for a while.


After falling on my face, we had a couple more streams to cross, then we headed up the hill. We gained probably 700 or so feet of elevation in less than a mile; it was steeper than it sounds. Also, there's really only one way up that we could find; the face of the hill is so steep that the switchbacked trail is the only way to the top that doesn't end in a cliff face. Of course, as I mentioned, there was no snow on that path, so we ended up hiking most of it. My attitude wasn't improving at all during that; I like snowshoeing and I like hiking, but I like doing just one or the other, not constantly having to switch between them.

Once at the top, however, we were in a respectable amount of snow and my mood improved considerably as we headed toward the meadow. It didn't take us long to get there at all and, once we did, we were treated to a fantastic view of Mt. Hood while we ate lunch.


After that, it was a quick trip down with a more successful hop over a couple streams. All told, we did about 5.7 miles, thought it was more challenging than it sounds due to the nature of the elevation climb (it happened all at once), the fact that we had to hike some of it, and the extra weight I was carrying in my pack. Fun? Yes. However, I'm not sure that, given the condition of the stream crossings, I'd want to do it again.

I've written about my grandma's health as recently as August. In September, my grandmother, Vera Hannigan, passed away after a multi-year fight with cancer.


She's inurned at Arlington National Cemetery along with her husband, John Hannigan. Her obituary can be found here.

Grandma will be missed. She was a strong, accomplished woman. I helped my family collect photos and important pieces of her life from her house after the funeral; there were photos of her time in the White House under Gerald Ford, there was a framed copy of a congressional bill she helped push through that protected lands in Utah, and there were pictures of every Republican president for the last 40 years, signed "Dear Vera..." Grandma knew her way around politics.

Per her wishes, there were benches constructed on a lakeside path in Reston, VA, near the Lake Anne Plaza Shopping Center. The two benches face each other; one has her name on it, the other has her husband's. It's a touching memorial to a woman who should - and will be - remembered.

Diligent readers may recall that, a few years ago, I bought myself an 32 GB iPhone 3GS in white. Shortly after that, I wrote about some of the strengths and weaknesses of the phone and of AT&T's "service". Well, this past week I went out and upgraded to a nice, white iPhone 4S (still the 32 GB model).


Why upgrade? Truth be told, my 3GS was working just fine. It was still new enough that it could run iOS 5 (which has a ton of improvements that I love), though occasionally it would hiccup or pause if I had too many apps open. I upgraded not just because I wanted some of the new features of the iPhone 4S, but because I was otherwise giving AT&T free money. They subsidize the phone over a 2-year contract with me. Some portion of my bill goes to pay for a new phone; if I hold onto my phone for more than two years and just keep paying on my contract, I'm just giving them free money. That doesn't sit so well with me, since they're making a ton off me anyway.

But here's the thing about my iPhone 4S. It's a fantastic phone, and Apple's done a marvelous job with it. The hardware is solid, the software is great, and, truth be told, it's just about everything I could want in a mobile device.

But...

It's no longer revolutionary. My iPhone 3GS was, for me, a massive technological step forward. It unlocked possibilities I hadn't even considered. The 4S is a fine evolution, but it's no longer earth shattering. It's hasn't changed my life - the 3GS did. I did add to the list of apps I use, but new apps I find truly useful are few and far between.
- I use the Apple Remote app with my Apple TV.
- Google Latitude is still a fun way to share location data with friends, though not too many use it.
- There's a Netflix app now, great for watching Top Gear over the wifi at the gym.
- The PDX Reporter app is a great way for me to report graffiti, potholes, and other city maintenance issues.
- The PDXBus app is invaluable in using Tri-Met to get around.
- Angry Birds, Scrabble, and Peggle are among the few games I've actually purchased.

Still, there are many upgrades. The dual-core A5 processor is quite fast, the retina display is beautiful, the 8 megapixel camera is amazing, the forward-facing phone is handy for Facetime, and I read somewhere that there's an extra accelerometer in the phone for added precision.

Finally, the astute reader might note that the iPhone is now available, in the US, on three different carriers: AT&T, Verizon, and Sprint. Which did I choose? I stayed with AT&T, thought not without considerable deliberation. Given 1) the speed advantage for the iPhone that AT&T offered (since Verizon and Sprint's LTE were not supported in this iteration), 2) the idea that the dual antenna design might resolve some of my connectivity issues with AT&T, and finally 3) that my contract with AT&T has unlimited data at a price I couldn't nearly match on any other service, I opted to stay. Time will tell if I'll regret this.

In conclusion, my iPhone 4S is a great phone. I like how it feels, I like the upgrades that it offers, and I it works well with the rest of my Apple products at home. It just doesn't feel like I'm getting the value for my money that I did when first bought my iPhone 3GS.

I first heard the phrase "Tragedy of the Commons" in an XKCD comic a few weeks ago. It sounded familiar, but I couldn't explain what it mean. Wikipedia came to my rescue, however, and was able to put in official words what I'd understood but not had a name for: the "dilemma arising from the situation in which multiple individuals, acting independently and rationally consulting their own self-interest, will ultimately deplete a shared limited resource, even when it is clear that it is not in anyone's long-term interest for this to happen."

I became fascinated by this, spending hours comparing this theory to the world around me.

Fast forward to this morning, when I was listening to NPR during my morning commute. There was a piece called As Population, Consumption Rise, Builder Goes Small. At the very end of the segment, I heard this:

Since buildings consume about 40 percent of the nation's energy, they're a logical target for more efficiency. But Berkeley's Kammen says living smaller isn't the ultimate solution. With 9 billion or 10 billion people, rising consumption will overwhelm any efficiency, as well as our current sources of energy. What's needed, he says, is renewable energy that's cheap and won't run out.

"And by essentially every measure," he concludes, "we are not moving fast enough."

And it struck me: the was the tragedy of the commons on a global scale. This is where the population is headed. With our global population at (or near) 7 billion, we're seeing the effects of the strain humanity has put on the Earth's ability to provide us with its natural resources: peak oil, overfishing (another example of the tragedy of the commons), and deforestation, to name a few.

The problem with human overpopulation is that there is little chance of stopping it. The more industrialized first-world nations might be coaxed into curbing populations, but there's little chance of slowing the birth rate down in the poorer countries any time soon.

Nations will be looking at a land grab of the earth's natural resources as demand exceeds supply. The countries that have the most power in the future will be a) the ones with the most varied resources, b) the ones most efficiently able to use the resources they have, or c) the ones able to find new resources and ways to use them. Let's just hope we figure out how to be more efficient before this shared resource we live on is depleted.

According to this fortune cookie, it's going to be a good day.

Tonight I went and watched the Swifts.

No, it's not an 80's punk band, they're a type of bird (called Vaux's Swifts) that, every mid-September, migrates through Portland and stays in the chimney of Chapman Elementary School.

It was impressive to watch. As the sun starts to set, suddenly these small birds start appearing over the school. At first there were a dozen circling in the air above us. Then there were dozens, all swooping around, darting through the air. Then, there were hundreds, if not thousands. So small the eye has trouble tracking them, they darkened the sky over the school as they swarmed, waiting for some appointed time known only to the birds.

Then, as if by great mutual agreement, the birds created a funnel, spiraling into the chimney. But they weren't the only creatures in the air. Some local hawks know where the food is as well. The crowd gasped as the lone hawk dove in, flying low above the spectators before crossing through the mass of Swifts, leaving with a meal in its claws. But even as one was taken, hundreds more continued pouring into the chimney.


It took maybe 10 minutes for them to fit in, but each moment was exciting. Even the crowd reactions - cheering for the hawk, providing anthropomorphic voiceover for the actions of the birds - was entertaining.

In all, it was an amazing thing to watch. It amazes me even more that I'm from Portland and I've never seen it - but the adventure here never stops.