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Burton Vs. Gravity

Tuesday, March 31, 2009
It's time for another epic tale of Burton's fight against an imaginary foe. Last time it was the check engine light. This time? His fight was with Gravity.

You see, Burton is the sort of fellow who won't turn on the lights if he thinks he'll be able to see well enough to get from point A to point B. This trait - while normally saving electricity - because the cause of the fight, and the stairs were the backdrop against which this struggle took place.

Imagine it's 5 AM. Burton wakes up to find that he's thirsty, but the water glass next to his bed is empty. He gets up to go down to the kitchen with the intent of refilling it with fresh, cold, filtered water. In the hallway he decides not to turn on the light, but thinks to himself, "the stairs are pretty steep. I'd better watch my step!" He takes one step down the stairs and his foot slips out from underneath him. The battle begins!

a bruise running the length of my arm from carpet burn

And then the battle is over mere seconds after it began. Burton, blindsided by gravity and unable to put up a good fight, finds himself at the bottom of the stairs, glass still in hand (unbroken) and hoping like hell he didn't wake his roommate. He also finds friction burns on his arm and back, lightly bleeding.

In mild pain but quite irritated, Burton cleans his wounds and applies a thin glazing of Neosporin. He then gets more water and climbs back in bed.

The winner? Gravity... this time, at least.


Blogger nicole said...


2:26 PM, March 31, 2009  
Blogger Burton said...


2:36 PM, March 31, 2009  

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