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I'm not a fast driver*

Saturday, September 24, 2005
I am not a fast driver.

Now, for anyone who knows me and firmly believe that there is more than enough incontrovertible evidence in the world to declare the previous statement to be complete bullshit, let me explain. I believe that I'm not a naturally fast driver, but there are caveats to that statement. Those are: stupid drivers, open roads, and a few more.

When I get on an open road, I'm the kind of guy that would LOVE to set the cruise control for 7 mph above the speed limit and happily (and safely) coast down the road, staying in the right-most possible lane. I'm serious. However, there are some folks in this world who seem to think that's excessively fast or are just incapable of getting out of the way. I call these people stupid drivers.

Stupid drivers cruise at the speed limit in the fast lane. Stupid drivers fail to accelerate to a reasonable and safe speed with any sense of urgency. Stupid drivers don't let faster drivers pass them on the left, often forcing us to pass them on the right. Stupid drivers don't use their turn signals. Stupid drivers tailgate. Stupid drivers slow down to a near stop to make a turn. Stupid drivers interrupt the flow of traffic around them.

Faced with a stupid drivers, I turn into a fast driver. I just want to be safely in front of them, usually going only a few mph faster, but they often require work to pass. I just drove back from the beach on Highway 26 and let me tell you I can't COUNT the number of people who wanted to do 47 mph in a 55 mph zone. I had to pass them all, and I did. Yet these same people that I passed at damn near triple-digit speeds eventually caught up to me in Aloha and Hillboro because I was just humming along in the right lane at 62 mph. See what I mean?

Anyway, I'm not a fast driver. I just can't stand to be behind people, I guess.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

never....ever... move to texas. Even cops cut you off and dont use signals.

6:20 AM, September 25, 2005  
Blogger Burton said...

That's probably not the only reason I wouldn't move to Texas. I just don't think we'd agree.

4:54 PM, September 25, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At last someone who feels my pain of driving around here. I know exactly how you feel. No one seems to grasp that the left lane is a passing lane.

8:07 PM, April 29, 2007  

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