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My Business Plan

Friday, September 23, 2005
So with the hurricane season kicking the shit out of our oil production and nationwide gas prices reaching the point where it would be cheaper to fuel my car on liquid gold, I heard someone comment that we're getting a reasonable amount of oil; it's our refineries that are the hold up.

Well, I'm a big fan of eliminating bottlenecks, so I think maybe we should build some pipelines into areas less susceptible to enviornmental forces. That's right, I'm talking about Oregon. (Though we have our own environmentalIST forces running around.)

But Burton, you say, that sounds evil!

Well, you're probably right. And I try not to be an entirely evil guy. So how about this? Instead of bringing in crude oil and spilling it all over the place yadda yadda yadda, we build the nations largest BioDiesel operation? I'm sure there's some pretty unused, unwanted land over in parts of Oregon I don't live in where we could set up a nice, clean operation that is a good thing all around.

And let's take that a step further. The big problem with BioDiesel (as I see it) is that you need a diesel engine to run it and we don't sell a lot of those in small cars. Basically, just Volkswagen does (maybe Mercedes, too). So I would suggest to the Big Three that perhaps in the interest of selling your humongous SUVs we might at least get them to run on a fuel supply which we don't get at the expense of our foreign policy. But now I'm just going off the deep end.

Anyway, I think we could make it work with some help from the Oregon government, but I leave that as an exercise to the reader.

Let me know what you think.

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