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Creative Conspiracy Theories

Tuesday, April 04, 2006
In honor of The Doc, who encouraged me yesterday to figure out a way to disagree with the administration by any means necessary, I've come up with a conspiracy theory that is both obvious and directly attributable to the far right.

As much as I personally complain about Daylight Savings Time and the gain or loss of an hour of my life by legislation... at least I don't have to work during those hours. Let's examine the following concepts:

1) Generally, workers are divided into two categories: hourly workers and salary employees.

2) I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to guess that most employees who are working between midnight and 4 am are of the hourly type, not the salaried type.

3) Late-night hourly employees are not in the top third of the income bracket in our country. This is just a guess, of course, but it seems reasonable.

4) In late-March/early-April we actually subtract an hour. There's no 2 AM to 3 AM - we simply skip an hour.

Therefore, this action - which subtracts an hour of wage from the late-night hourly employee (right before tax time!) is clearly an attempt by "the man" to keep those in the hourly working class oppressed by taking away an hour's worth of wages right when they need it the most!

Obviously, we need a revolution.


Blogger Laura said...

Actually i babysit for a girl who works swing at a chemical lab down in baytown. Sunday night, she had to work, they had her go in an hour early. Of course, that's a large plastics company (that i wont name here)and she works in the lab as a chemist or something. i forget. Anyway, she's probably paid better and differently than some guy at Taco Bell.

10:30 AM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger The Infinite Jester said...

It's a hell of a stretch, but definately on the right track.

9:48 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Julien Chambers said...

This sounds like a job for Undercover Brother! Solid!!

8:00 AM, April 05, 2006  

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